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Wednesday, 8 March 2017

5 Reasons I Want To Give Up Blogging But Can't..

01. Because I feel like no one is reading 

 This one I actually don't care about too much. It's easy to feel like there is no one reading when you compare your stats to the 'big dog' bloggers. My stats, I suppose are a side-effect of neglecting my blog for ages. My blog was as interesting as looking at a tumbleweed a few months ago. So, I get it. I've got to earn you all back..some of you are still there, I see you. Hello you :)  But I also don't like the feeling of wanting that stat validation which naturally comes along with blogging. My blog is my personal space, I deep down don't care how many people are reading. I blog for me.

02. Because it takes up my life

This isn't an over-exaggeration! Blogging takes so long to schedule, write and perfect. When one has a life also it can be hard to fit it all in. I sometimes do wonder, 'What's the point?t' but then I remember I'm addicted to blogging and actually can't stop. I kind of like it. 

03. Because it's an overindulged world that could do probably do with dying

Although I do love reading blogs and bloggers etc - part of me really doesn't agree with the industry (if you can call it that). There's a lot of trickery, advertising and un-genuine people out there. Some many of the blogs that we read are out there blogging for business, money and popularity. I'm in this game innocently and I don't like to be categorised in something that has got quite a negative name over the past few years. 

04. I want to write things that have substance! 

I have all the intention in the world to sit down and write a book. I often find myself excusing it and saying 'I don't have enough time' - at this point I open up blogger and smash out a blog post which could've realistically been the beginning of a chapter. I sometimes think that if I put my blog into a thing of the past that I could finally crack down and write. I have written bits of poetry and started my book. But again, I have an insatiable need to blog....

05. Fakeness

I thought that I'd made some blogger pals...they've all unfollowed me and moved on since my blogging break. Ok, so I should be offended, sad and hurt but I'm not. The whole idea of a blogger sister-hood is a bit of a LOL situation. It's all about the follower count and not the people. Blogger chats are to gain followers not to make 'friends'. Sorry but it's the truth apart from a handful of exceptions! 

Ultimately I can't seem to give up. I keep coming back to blogging because I've grown up doing it. It's sort of as natural to me as washing my face. It feels like part of my routine to blog. But, I won't be doing it forever I suppose...Hopefully this book of mine will get written! But in the meantime - I hope you enjoy my blog posts! 


Friday, 17 February 2017

Believing In Yourself

 I have made a few choices over the past two years that have taken a lot of balls. Not to big up myself or anything but I think it's about time that I recognise it. I have chosen to re-route my life and take an unexplored path. I have chosen to break free from the 'normality' and do what I want with my life. This has not been at all easy. I have had ups and I have had some major downs. One thing that has been super essential to all my decisions is having belief in myself and more importantly, my decisions.

Believing in yourself is a major skill to learn in life. It really has taken some time for me to develop it. Having a break away from education and other influences that try and spoon-feed you opinions made me feel lost but also enlightened. I formed my own ideas of what I wanted from my life and contrary to popular opinion around me - it wasn't further education. I had to believe in myself and my capabilities to turn down what were essentially fantastic educational opportunities. I had moments where I felt like a person who was made up from part water and part idiot.

It's hard to know what direction you are going in life but to have a goal and a recognition of your capabilities and skills is paramount. I have only recently decided what direction I want to go in my life. I brainstormed what made me happy, what skills I had and set myself a goal. Two days later - I landed myself an apprenticeship which I will be starting in March. I will be focusing on hair and beauty and I will be all trained up as an arty-farty lover of life. As an A grade student, in school this pathway is often frowned upon because you are 'the promised product'. But, middle fingers up because I'm doing what I want in life and I hope that I have finally found a job that will make me happy. I have always been majorly into fashion, makeup and hair. All evidence of this is found on my blog, bookshelf, Bloglovin' roll and subscriptions both online and in publication. I am obsessed.

However, if someone turned around three years ago and told me that I wouldn't be going to Uni (yay) but would be lost for two years - I think I would've cried for days. I have considered so many different career pathways over the past few years. I dropped out of Uni with the mindset that I would focus on acting - then freaked out about the employability rates..I then re-considered the fashion industry and then went in a circle again and found myself contemplating University for a round three (ha, ha, ha - NO!). Finding your passions and what's right for you doesn't have a time limit and shouldn't ever be rushed. I felt anxious that I would never find something that would make me feel motivated and excited. I doubted my decision of dropping out of University regularly. I knew ultimately I had made no mistakes, I just hadn't found a good 'quick-fix' solution. Having confidence in each of your decisions in life is so important. Self-doubt is destructive and unhealthy.

This is the beginning of my journey and I believe that I can achieve the goals that I have set out to achieve. I have dreams and aspirations like any normal person but convincing myself that they will come true has been a longer process.

 I guess the moral from this little essay of mine is just to believe in yo'self!! Be a girl boss and don't give a damn what anyone thinks. Be reckless in the best kinds of ways and set goals that are reachable and that excite you. In theory, we only have one life - spend it the way you want!

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