Believing in yourself is a major skill to learn in life. It really has taken some time for me to develop it. Having a break away from education and other influences that try and spoon-feed you opinions made me feel lost but also enlightened. I formed my own ideas of what I wanted from my life and contrary to popular opinion around me - it wasn't further education. I had to believe in myself and my capabilities to turn down what were essentially fantastic educational opportunities. I had moments where I felt like a person who was made up from part water and part idiot.
It's hard to know what direction you are going in life but to have a goal and a recognition of your capabilities and skills is paramount. I have only recently decided what direction I want to go in my life. I brainstormed what made me happy, what skills I had and set myself a goal. Two days later - I landed myself an apprenticeship which I will be starting in March. I will be focusing on hair and beauty and I will be all trained up as an arty-farty lover of life. As an A grade student, in school this pathway is often frowned upon because you are 'the promised product'. But, middle fingers up because I'm doing what I want in life and I hope that I have finally found a job that will make me happy. I have always been majorly into fashion, makeup and hair. All evidence of this is found on my blog, bookshelf, Bloglovin' roll and subscriptions both online and in publication. I am obsessed.
However, if someone turned around three years ago and told me that I wouldn't be going to Uni (yay) but would be lost for two years - I think I would've cried for days. I have considered so many different career pathways over the past few years. I dropped out of Uni with the mindset that I would focus on acting - then freaked out about the employability rates..I then re-considered the fashion industry and then went in a circle again and found myself contemplating University for a round three (ha, ha, ha - NO!). Finding your passions and what's right for you doesn't have a time limit and shouldn't ever be rushed. I felt anxious that I would never find something that would make me feel motivated and excited. I doubted my decision of dropping out of University regularly. I knew ultimately I had made no mistakes, I just hadn't found a good 'quick-fix' solution. Having confidence in each of your decisions in life is so important. Self-doubt is destructive and unhealthy.
This is the beginning of my journey and I believe that I can achieve the goals that I have set out to achieve. I have dreams and aspirations like any normal person but convincing myself that they will come true has been a longer process.
I guess the moral from this little essay of mine is just to believe in yo'self!! Be a girl boss and don't give a damn what anyone thinks. Be reckless in the best kinds of ways and set goals that are reachable and that excite you. In theory, we only have one life - spend it the way you want!